NYC
*throws tissue into trash can from two feet away*
me: BALLIN
me: BALL IS LIFE
me: BASKETBALL NEVER SLEEPS
me: KOBE TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES

maliciousmelons:

when you are in a hurry and someone wont let the conversation end

image

clickholeofficial:


Which Team Member Of Jo-Ann Fabric & Craft (Jacksonville Branch) Are You?

pineplapple:

This is hands down the best parody twitter ever

Only the finest furniture

Only the finest furniture

officialdubai:

you’re my rock…my dwayne….my johnson

hellofromhawaii:

So I was driving behind this truck and seen this huge dog and I was like lemme take a photo of this creature, so I honked my horn a little so it would look at me and then………….

chazkeats:

mood: mulder typing sadly on his computer.
image

elizabitchtaylor:

yeah i’m a Male Feminist ;) sex positive ;) pro porn ;) express yourself babe ;) don’t let the patriarchy stop you from sending me nudes ;)

geizler:

r.i.p.

Siri…… cancel my three o’clock and access sexy_boob.exe
greatwhiteprivilege:

nobody’s gonna fuck w/ my garden

greatwhiteprivilege:

nobody’s gonna fuck w/ my garden